it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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