Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Randomize
