so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
She tied me up with her honor cords...
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
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