This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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