What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
