Princesses don't give blow jobs
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
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