this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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