I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
