thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
These tits shall not be calmed
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
