Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
