if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
