believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
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