i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
