I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
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