I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Randomize
