at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I want her autograph on my taint
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Randomize
