Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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