idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
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