Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
