You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I have tasted many bathrooms
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
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