I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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