my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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