Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
