I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
