wake up i wanna do it froggy style
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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