You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
