sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I forgot wine drunk hurts
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
