All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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