My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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