I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Randomize
