Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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