Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Randomize
