oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
