Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
