The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Randomize
