i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
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