If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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