I'm going to jail i love you
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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