so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
