if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
