we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Randomize
