then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
