Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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