We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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