I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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