She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
