people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Randomize
