Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
