I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
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