i would punch a child for taco bell
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Randomize
