Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
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