It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
