there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
